The April fool and the Goofster
by Sarcasma
Summary: PG for mild language. One too many pranks have been pulled on Lily. James and Sirius think no one can beat them on April Fool's Day, but what happens when Revenge is the motive? Please R&R FINISHED
1. Lily's grudge, or lack thereof

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Chapter 1- Lily's grudge, or lack thereof

_September 1, 1978___

_Dear Diary,_

_ James and Sirius have to be the two biggest gits in the entire coarse of history! I was making rounds with Remus on the train when a bucket of slime was sumped on me and who comes out of the compartment but James Potter. Sirius saw that I was their victim and started laughing hysterically, rolling on the bench seat in the compartment. Come to think of it Remus was laughing just as hard, so he's a git too, but not as big of one. _

_ Peter is the only descent one of the lot. At least he tried to help, though his scourgify went horribly wrong and just made more of a mess. It took me three hours to clean it all off and all Potter had to say for himself was "It was meant for Snape", as if that makes it any better._

_ I'm not letting it go this time though. I've been the idiot in their pranks far to often and too long to look away any more. It won't be soon, but revenge will be sweet…and painful._

The Next day after lunch

"I'm so sorry about yesterday, Lily, please don't stay mad at me," James rambled when he had caught up to Lily.

Lily had to admit it was somewhat flattering since she had never seen James apologize to anyone, and here he was, practically graveling for her forgiveness. "I'm not mad anymore," Lily said sweetly. "Come on, James, that was all yesterday, and every day is brand new right? I had already forgotten about it."

James let out a breath of relief then composed himself, meaning back into the very sure of himself James. "Well, if that's the case, did you see the bulletin with the Hogsmeade dates?"

"Yes," Lily said, starting to walk to Transfigurations. James followed, running a hand through his hair.

"So," he said plastering a charming grin on his face, "are you going with me?"

"Can we go through the short version today? I'd really appreciate the short version."

"Whatever blows your skirt up," James said lifting his eyebrows suggestively.

Lily rolled her eyes at James, took a deep breath, and started the drill. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Please?"

"No."

"Evans."

"Potter."

"One day you will."

"In your dreams."

They walked into the classroom and sat down. Conversation over.

* * *

A/N: I know this is short, but it's only going to be two maybe three chapters long, and I think I just want to post the set up right now. I might post the rest tonight, so keep a look out! Review anyways =)


	2. Failure Six

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters.

Chapter 2- Failure Six

March 31, 1979

James and Sirius had been preparing everything for months. Not just that, but they had Peter ratting around to see what everyone else was doing to get the Goofster. The Goofster was the prize given to the best practical joke on April Fool's Day. The prize was an oversized Goody doll donated by the founder of the competition and idol to the Marauders, Arthur Weasley.

Legend had it that on a family trip to Disneyland the infamous Arthur enchanted the toy alive and scared the owner so badly that they gave it to him for free. the best part was that Arthur never got caught by the Ministry, though his mum was a force to be reckoned with.

Ever since, the Goofster was a highly coveted award among the students. The winner got to keep the stuffed toy until the following year's competition. James, Sirius, and Peter had kept it for the last five year, and it wasn't going to change if they had anything to say about it. Remus had been involved in the first year, but took over as judge in his second year. They all, however, helped build a shrine for the toy.

Sign-ups were today and James was the first in like. "do you have a sickle and three knuts?" Ludo asked.

"What for?" Sirius asked.

"It's been decided that winner of the Goofster should get another prize," Ludo informed them.

"All right," James said, "I'll be getting it back tomorrow anyways. Here's our list of people." The judging was done with enchanted cameras, both invisible and hovering, and when a prank was pulled the proof was in the picture. The picture would be given to the prankster, if it succeeded, or to the foiler of the plan, if the plan failed. The list given would provide a camera to follow each person listed.

"Hey," Ludo said in a whisper. "I'm taking bets on the winners for each category, if you're interested."

"Sure," James got out three more galleons. "All of it on us getting the Goofster again."

"Alright," Ludo said.

The rest of the afternoon James and Sirius watched who was signing up. They left as Ludo was closing up the books. When they were gone, one more came in.

"Uh," Ludo's eyes got very wide. "It isn't what you've heard."

"Don't worry," the person said. "I'm here to sign up. I heard the list isn't posted until after breakfast. Is that correct?"

"Right," Ludo said, making one last quick entry. "So then, who are you pranking?"

The newest entry passed a note rather than saying anything.

"You've gotta be out of your bloody mind! No one ever succeeds with th-"

"I will."

"Alright then, but you know that even your failure is caught on camera. Most people going for these guys have others as well, are you sure-"

"I'm sure."

Ludo finished writing things down, collected the money, and packed things up. "Good luck, Lily. I hope you know what you're doing."

* * *

April 1, 1979

James stretched and thought about the day's routine. Every year there were five or six kids, usually muggle borns, who would try and pull amature stunts on the Marauders. First James wiped his hands of whipped cream on the sheets, knowing the house elves would clean it up later. _Flash _Failure one.

Next he pointed his wand at the doorknob, lazily stating 'scourgify', clearing the Vaseline easily. _Flash_ Failure two. By the end of the day James and Sirius would have a box of these pictures to go through. They would usually pick the three or four they looked best in and destroy the rest.

James made his way to the bathroom, removed the saran wrap from around the toliet _Flash_, the gum directing th water upward _Flash_, and replace the poison oak soap with his own _Flash. _Failures three, four, and five. James got into the shower thinking of what he needed to do. Sirius was probably down in the kitchens taking care of their top plan; the one that would win them the Goofster, six years and running. "This is going to be good," he said to himself, as he shampooed his hair. _Flash_ James wondered what that one had been for, but brushed it off as him stopping something else. "This is getting easier every year," he said shaking his head. "Oh well, failure six."

When James got out of the shower he dressed, towel dried his hair and left for breakfast without even a glance in the mirrir. As he walked down the corridor, James noticed people whispering to each other and looking toward him. _That's right_, he thought, _King of pranks coming through. All bow to the King._

As James opened the doors to the Great Hall, there was a burst of laughter. James looked around to see what prank had been pulled, but saw nothing. Remus was off, judging no doubt, Peter was hopefully getting things ready for some of the smaller pranks, but Sirius should have been there. James sat down next to Lily. "Anything interesting happen yet?"

"No," she replied. Lily was reading a book and had a note pad with a quill sitting idly on top. "What about you?"

"Just the same lame stuff, like Vaseline and gummed up faucets.

"Oh," Lily said with a look of disappointment. "I thought for sure the gum would work."

"That was you?" James scoffed. "Sorry, Lily, but that was pretty pathetic attempt for someone who's supposedly so clever."

Lily shrugged while picking up her quill, dipping it in red ink and writing something before going back to her book. A minute or so later there was a flash going off somewhere behind James and an eruption of laughter. "What'd I miss?" James asked looking around.

"I don't know," Lily said, not even looking up.

"James," said a voice from nowhere.

James pulled out his two way communication mirror to see a frantic Sirius's face. "What is it Padfoot?"

"Code red! Get back here now!" Sirius left and James grabbed some toast, stood up and started walking out.

As James made his way he heard someone shout, "hey cue ball!" As much as James wanted to look back, he resisted.

* * *

A/N: Okay, another chapter. I think I can keep it down to just one more, so look out for it!

Thank you:

JamieBell: I hope more people read this one, but oh well, once again this is for you. You've never heard the phrase 'whatever blows your skirt up'? It's like 'whatever tickles your fancy' or 'whatever floats your boat', but it can have a perverted meaning, which works here. Oh yes, they have this coming. Any guesses to what she's done??? Hope you like this chapter...


	3. Writing on the Wall?

Chapter 3- Writing on the... wall?

James opened the door to the dorm and gasped. "What happened?" he asked looking at his bald friend who had words written in bright red neon, flashing around his head for all to read 'I pity the fool...'.

"Same thing as you, mate," Sirius said, staring at James's head while it flushed color, becoming as white as his face.

James went to the mirror and screamed at the reflection. He angled his head to read 'Call me cue ball' in the same neon lettering he had seen on Sirius's head, only it started to change. James waited and watched until the letters thoroughly showed 'Gotcha'. There was another flash of a camera as James kicked the bedpost closest to him. "Who did this?!"

"Don't know, Prongs, maybe Snape?" Sirius suggested. He had somewhat gotten over what had happened, at least enough to let James be the one to freak out right now. "You know how good he is in potions, maybe it was in something we drank last night."

"Or the shampoo," James said remembering the first time the camera went off. "The bastard put something in our shampoo!" James went to touch his head, but still felt his hair there. _Damn_, he thought. If he had simply gone bald, he could have willed the hair to grow back, but whatever Snape did, they would have to really try to figure it out. "Did he even sign-up?"

"I don't think so," Sirius said. This was a serious matter if he had, this might take the Goofster away. "I borrowed some hats, but we have to hurry and see who's on that list."

"What about our plan?"

"I couldn't go down there like this!"

"Sirius! This is urgent, do you want to loose the Goofster?"

"No," he mumbled.

"It's okay, we can do that one at lunch. What's with Peter?"

"He's already tripped up Mundungus and the Ravenclaw boys have shed their feathers, and everything else is going as planned."

"Alright," James took a deep breath. "Let's go." The two boys put on the hats, the lettering showing through, but the lack of hair was at least hidden. They looked at the list and seeing that Snape wasn't on there, both took a deep breath. "He probably just thought he'd do this anyways."

"Probably didn't have the money," Sirius pointed out.

"We'll be getting him anyways," James said.

"What about this?" Sirius asked pointing to his head.

"We can't miss classes, or we can't pull all the pranks, so just keep the hats on," James said, just as the bell for the first class rang. They made their way to Transfiguration and sat down. As the late bell rang McGonagall came in, books in hand and sat down at her desk.

"Open your books to chapter-" she looked up and saw the ridiculous hats adorning James and Sirius's heads. She figured what this was quickly and wanted badly to see what had gotten the better of them, after all the awful things they had done to other people. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, I'd appreciate you follow the school rules and only wear those outside of class, please."

James and Sirius glanced at each other, but took off the caps. The class laughed, and, since the writing had changed, two flashes went off. Sirius's head now read 'Lice kills' while James's was a little more personal reading 'I'm an egotistical dumbass'.

McGonagall kept a straight face as she read both in turn, then replied. "Mr. Potter, if you could sensor you scalp, and everyone turn to chapter ten."

James put his head on the table and covered it the best he could with his hands as the red-faced Sirius tried to just act normally. Lily opened her book and wrote down in her notebook as the phrase on James's head changed to 'The bald eagle has landed...'. _Flash_

There had to be at least twenty pictures between the two boys before lunch, since a picture was taken every time the message changed, which was pretty often. When lunch came around, James and Sirius went to the kitchens to fulfill their plans. "Yes," James told one of the house elves, "Severus doesn't like to take this, so just put some in his pumpkin juice, it'll help him out."

"Okay," the house elf said, happy to have a task.

They went to lunch to watch what would happen. As they left the kitchens, though, someone was lurking behind them. "Accio hats," Lily whispered from a dark corner. Before the boys knew what was going on the hats had disappeared, but they didn't know where to.

"Damn it!" James shouted.

Sirius looked around, but saw nothing. "Come on, let's get a couple more hats, I have some more in the room."

They ran back to the dormitory, but when they went looking for more caps, they were all missing. There was nothing, unless they wanted to wrap scarves around their head and call them turbans. So they stayed in the dorm room, playing exploding snap, trying to get rid of the flashing red signs, and having lots of pictures taken as their heads changed between phrases like 'lost: one brain', 'the snitch is up my ass', and 'need better grades? Don't talk to me, mine are worse than yours'.

James had just seen the message change to 'Need help to fit through the door' when Peter came in to see the flash.

"Where have you guys been?" he asked in a squeaky voice. "You missed Snape's nose bleed. He ended up fainting in Narcissa's lap then Malfoy punched him, and he's so messed up right now."

"Good!" James said as a camera took a picture of Sirius's head, which now said 'Dunce'. "He deserves it!"

"We have to get to charms," Sirius said, looking at his watch.

"Fine!" James said storming out of the room.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter is the award ceremony, so stay tuned!

Thank you:

Mell Minamoto: You picked up on the cue ball statement! She sort of made him bald, but you know how when Harry's hair is cut short, he can make it come back, well she just made it all invisible, plus the writing on the head thing =)

JamieBell: I like adding in characters that we know in little ways, like I did with Arthur. You are my faithful reader... :::Wipes tear::: Hope you like this chapter. Good poker face, yes.  
Your faithful writer =)

KatKit: I'm glad you like it. Now you know what Lily did! I think the best part in the last chapter is that James says that her 'idea' was lame for someone so clever, and she writes in her notebook.


	4. Sweet Sweet Revenge

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters…

Chapter 4- The Award Ceremony

James and Sirius endured a day of humiliation. Even when they had ruined someone else's prank, they couldn't enjoy the flash that accompanied that success, because they knew they'd be bald in the picture, and they were too busy trying to hide the messages on their heads that changed constantly to enjoy any of their own pranks. One of the worst had to be when Sirius was around a Hufflepuff girl that he was working himself up to ask out and 'beware of the VD' flashed out of nowhere.

They had tried going to the school nurse, Poppy, for a remedy. She informed them it would take her couple days. A complete lie, but she figured they deserved it after all the students they had sent to her in just this past year alone with pranks they had pulled.

After all the agony, though, the time had come for them to get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. They made their way to the room of requirement, the one place they could all meet without the teachers knowing, for the ceremony. James and Sirius sat down in the seats Peter had saved for them, and Remus was standing up about to start. Nothing could ruin this. "Welcome ladies, gentlemen, and jokers!" There was applause and Remus waited with expertise for it to peak then come back down a bit. "Tonight, we are gathered to celebrate this sacred day known as April Fool's day. And to start out we'd like to present an award new to this year. Since we charged for entry this time, we understand that many were unable to enter, though we have a solution for this as well. This new award goes to the best unregistered prank of the year. And the winner is…"

"I can't believe they're giving anything to Snivellus," Sirius commented, thinking nothing could beat what he did to them, even if he didn't want to admit that anyone had out done them, least of all Snape.

"…Tonks for the dung bombs in the teacher's lounge!" The first year girl with Gryffindor colored hair walked up and accepted the award with a handshake.

"Maybe Snivellus isn't considered human enough to get anything," James said as they applauded.

They moved onto the other lesser categories; best food prank, best attempted prank (which went to a first year that had set up a trap that James and Sirius went around without a problem), worst backfired prank, and most mean-spirited, "goes to… James, Sirius and Peter for 'bloody-nosed git' played on Severus Snape."

They let Peter go accept that award, since it was miniscule next to the Goofster, and James leaned over to whisper in Sirius's ear, "I guess they'll allow us two prizes for that one."

"Yeah," Sirius responded. "It was pretty good."

There were a few more categories, then Remus went on to talk about the legend of the Goofster and called for a moment of silence. After a minute where you could hear a pin drop Remus said, "Arthur Weasley may have graduated, but he is always with each of us pranksters in spirit. This year, with a generous donation from our new sponsors Zonkos, and the entry money the Goofster will also get a prize of 437 Galleons, 16 Sickles and 4 knuts. So without any further ado, I have the privilege to announce this year's winner… " James and Sirius started to stand triumphantly, "…Lily Evans for 'Hair Hyjinxes' played on two of our former holders of the Goofster, Sirius and James!" Both sat down and looked at each other, baffled, as the word 'Loser' appeared on both of their heads _Flash Flash. _.

Lily got up and graciously accepted the award, Remus declared it over, and people started to disperse. James went up to the judge of the contest. "How could you have given that to her? Didn't you see all the pranks we pulled?"

"It's all about quality, James, not quantity. You should know that better than anyone. Now I suggest you stop being as your head is now advertising, and congratulate her."

"I think I will," James smirked and walked over to where Lily was defiantly.

Lily had set her stuff down and was talking to Sirius. "Please Lily? Please?"

"Oh alright then," Lily chuckled and did the counter charm for the spell she had done in their shampoo.

"Thanks Lily," Sirius said, looking at himself in a mirror, and wandered off.

"Hey Evans, aren't you going to do that to me too?" James asked approaching her.

"No, I think I want to count my money first," she said, picking up the bag of coins and fingering through them. "I think this was your sickle," she said examining a silver coin. "And this could have been your knut, don't you think?"

"Ha ha," James said, running a hand through his invisible hair. "Come on, now, you can't keep me like this."

"I very well could," Lily retorted. "But I suppose," she said taking out her wand and muttering the counter charm again. "Just remember that the next time you try anything with me!"

Lily turned around to gather her things so she could go back to her room. James took this opportunity to sneak up behind Lily, turn her around, dip her down, and lay one on her _Flash_. "Congratulations," he said before lifting her back up.

* * *

Almost two decades later

A sixteen year old Harry sat on his bed, looking at the pictures in his mother's diary, which had been recovered and recently given to him. He had been reading all of her planning and preparations for this, and it was great to see the results. He enjoyed seeing an oblivious James, a humiliated Sirius, and the final one of his dad kissing a shocked Lily. He chuckled as Ron came into the room and looked at himself in the mirror.

"What you laughing at?" Ron asked.

"Nothing," Harry replied.

Ron examined his appearance and stated, "I hate having red hair."

"I have a solution for that," Harry said, smirking. Ron didn't notice.

"Really? Can we do it now?" he asked eagerly.

"Sure," Harry said with a straight face. Before getting his wand, he read one more entry in the diary:

_April 1, 1979___

_Dear Diary,_

_Today rocked!_

* * *

A/N: I thought having a Ron/ Harry moment would be a funny way to end this. Hope you all liked it. I had to write this chapter twice, because the computer I'm on doesn't save or recover well and there was a power outage here at work, I hope that this one is better than the first I wrote, but none of you will ever really know.

Thank you:

Mell Minamoto: Here's the conclusion. I hope it meets your standard!

Angul-gurl: I get the impression that you don' like this kind of humor. I'm sorry if you didn't enjoy it, but I think it's funny… so I hope you do too.

Katkit: I love how Lily manipulates the situation so well. I hope you like the ending.

JamieBell: The answer is in the chapter here, but yes Lily does get the pictures. I loved McGonagall's little part there. 'You need to sensor your scalp' I had that one planned from the beginning. I like how all the teachers are in on this, even though the boys don't know it.


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